The Way

I really enjoyed The Way and I appreciated the opportunity to view it in class. Travel fascinates me on so many levels and, although I had heard of the Camino, I did not have a very extensive knowledge about it. In my opinion, it is such an incredible tradition that blends both physical travel with spiritual exploration. Throughout the centuries, thousands of people have embarked on the journey across Spain to deepen their faith and/or pursue a goal. The symbolism behind the walk and the accounts of the pilgrims are so intriguing. The film does such an excellent job of painting rich and complex characters that everyone can relate to. As the film progresses, the audience can see that the stock reasons for each character's walk are really only excuses obscuring the true motivations behind the journey.  Sarah, for example, claims that she was walking to quit smoking while, in reality, she is embarking on a personal odyssey of self-forgiveness. Spending weeks together away from the comforts of routine and consistency, the characters develop such a unique bond, and I felt myself become increasingly invested in their stories.

For me, the film was inspiring because it provided such an intimate look at the journey of a group of people who became unlikely friends under unusual circumstances. I plan to travel across the world and movies like The Way always serve to strengthen this ambition.

Mixed Messages

I agree that the Church does send mixed messages about the role of women within the Church. For example, it honors notable females with sainthood and reveres Mary the Mother of God as on of the greatest religious figures of the Church. However, it also constantly emphasizes Mary's virginity and praises virginal innocence while encouraging women to marry, have children, and support the domestic household. I personally have always been frustrated by the title "Blessed Virgin Mary" because it implies that a woman's sexuality is inherently dirty or sinful. Although the Church has progressed significantly, it still upholds many of the teachings of the old Church fathers. St. Jerome, for example, is frequently quoted even though he was a blatant misogynist and is even suspected to have removed women from scripture passages when he provided translations.. In addition, the Churches places restrictions on the ways in which women can participate in the liturgy, namely by barring them from ordination. While our roles in the liturgy have expanded to include altar servers, lectors, and cantors, we still are forbidden from inhabiting the pinnacle position of celebrant. Consequently, all of the Church authority is solely in the hands of males. The leading Church delegations are comprised entirely of priests, meaning that only men can decide matters of faith.

Abortion

As someone who is pro-life, it is disheartening to see how many abortions occur, especially the number of ones that are unsafe. Women in third-world countries often forced to have sex, not only with their husbands, but with other relatives and strangers. They, the victims of the abuse, are then unjustly left to deal with the consequences, namely STDs and unplanned pregnancies. If they do in fact become pregnant, their family, society, or economic necessity often pressures them into getting an abortion, usually performed through questionable practices by questionable people. Consequently, thousands of women dies each year. Although I believe that amending current pro-choice legislation, I recognize that the Church must do more to help disadvantaged women prevent pregnancy. I know that the Church opposes contraceptives, however, I think that it should take a more lenient view when considering the circumstances. Destitute women and girls abused and sexually compromised are very different from a financially stable couple wanting to freely make love every night. Through providing information about contraceptives and natural family planning, the Church can avoid the deaths of millions of innocent babies. I believe, in this situation, it truly is the lesser of two evils.

IVF

In Vitro Fertilization, or IVF, is a very controversial issue that has many facets. The Catholic Church opposes IVF on the grounds that the involvement of a third party in the conception process is immoral and contrary to God's will. However, as the article acknowledges, many infertile couples have a great desire to biologically parent a child. In this regard, IVF can bring great joy and happiness. Nevertheless, I believe that there are several cons to IVF. Although I strongly support hormonal treatments and GIFT, I think that a person ultimately must accept their limitations. God has crafted a unique plan for everyone and we must recognize that. In addition, IVF is not guaranteed to work, even when donors and surrogates are used. Furthermore, right now in the United States there are thousands of children waiting in foster care to be adopted by loving, permanent parents. Although adoption can involve psychological and emotional trauma for both the child(ren) and the parents, most people receive tremendous joy from the process. Another point of contention is the financial cost of IVF treatment. While IVF has become more widely available, it is still incredibly expensive, meaning that such treatments are restricted to only the financially privileged.

He's Just Not That Into You

Although it is considered a "chick flick," the movie He's Just Not That Into You contains many real examples of dating, marriage, and relationships. For example, the long-term relationship between Neil and Beth, played by Ben Affleck and Jennifer Aniston respectively, highlights the issue of cohabitation and marriage. Although Beth strongly desires to tie the knot, Neil resists, citing his opposition to the institution of matrimony. Expressing his commitment to her, he tries to explain that marriage is unnecessary for them since they are content and dedicated to each other. As we discussed in class, many cohabitating couples can enjoy developed and fulfilling relationships. The ultimate marriage of the Beth and Neil, however, does suggest that matrimonial union holds a specialness and an intimacy lacking in cohabitation. Interestingly, the relationship between Janine (Jennifer Connelly) and Ben (Bradley Cooper) reveals that the act of marriage does not always offer martial bliss.

Ultimately, both couples demonstrate that a successful relationship depends on the values, beliefs, and emotional characters of those involved. As I have witnessed in my own life, love works in mysterious ways and no blanket statement or statistic can determine a relationship. The most critical factors in a the outcome of a dating, cohabitating, or marital relationship involve the individual features of the couple, such as their age, education, and life story. Nevertheless, I do believe that marriage is the consummate manifestation of love and an ultimate goal.

The Changing Face of Marriage

My life, especially my younger childhood, has essentially been the "domestic church." My parents, particularly my mother, are very strict in regards to both behavior and religion. Since my toddler years, I have not once missed a single Sabbath Mass--regardless of where we go on vacation, my mother will find a church. One summer, my mother even took my brother and I to 8 a.m. Mass every weekday. As a child I used to collect holy cards and saint statues, and I cannot even count how many obscure shrines I have visited. Advent and Lent mean evening rosary sessions, and I have prayed the Chaplet of Divine Mercy on almost Good Friday. My family fasts before Mass, genuflects with both knees before the Blessed Sacrament, and even recites the Fatima Prayer following the "Glory Be." Although I appreciate my parents' efforts to spread the Gospel and instill in me the Catholic faith, I know that I will parent very differently. I will establish a domestic church in my home, however I believe that faith should have spiritual meaning, not just empty institutional practices. 

In regards to the changing face and structure of marriage, I think that, although marriage is the ultimate goal, there can be extremely happy and stable couples who simply cohabitate. While official married status certainly does serve as a deterrent to divorce, the rate of separation and divorce is still relatively high. What really matters is the level of commitment between the two people involved. Communication is critical to a successful relationship and I do believe that many couples can enjoy a very gratifying relationship if there is a healthy degree of vulnerability and communication between them. Interestingly, college educated individuals are also proven to experience fewer divorces, suggesting that emotional maturity, critical thinking, and developed communication skills have more bearing on the success of a relationship than the actual act of marriage. 

Dating and Hooking Up

Although John Harris and his fellow anti-daters make a strong argument that dating is practice for divorce, I believe that, while serial dating may pose such problems, the general system of informal dating is not necessarily faulted. Proposing a return to a more formal system of dating aimed a determining suitability for marriage, the anti-daters ultimately argue that matrimony should be the sole focus of dating. However, like authors Donna Freitas and Jason King, I understand dating to encompass a great deal more than simply a suitor test. Through dating, we can learn about ourselves, our identity, our virtues, and our vices. In dating, we see the values we find in all human relationships. As we open ourselves up to another person, we can grow and change as individuals. In addition, I share Freitas and King's sentiments in denouncing the anti-daters' assumption that dating is all about sex. While I do believe that sex is more meaningful if saved for marriage, I do not think that dating and premarital sex must always be intertwined. Dating is more about self-discovery, compassion, and mutual growth than it is physical gratification.

However, while dating explores more complex themes, the hook-up culture encourages just that--instant sexual and physical gratification. Unlike dating relationships, hook-ups promote one-time tete-a-tetes that are physically intimate but emotionally shallow. In addition, the definition of a hook-up varies by age and by person. Among high school students, hooking up generally involves little more than deep kissing and physical affection. However, in colleges and universities, hooking up can mean everything from deep kissing to sexual intercourse to oral sex. Among my generation, hook ups also almost always involve alcohol. While such behavior can be exciting for some people, drunken, empty, one-night-stands fail to provide any emotional fulfillment. Although the dating system is not necessarily focused on marriage, the hook-up culture is not even focused on relationships.

A Love Story

Although I have always admired my parents and found their relationship to be incredibly tender, I have developed an even greater respect for them. Throughout my life, I have viewed my mother and my father primarily as parents, however, after hearing them speak candidly about their relationship, I now recognize more of their individuality and see them in a different light. From their story, I learned not only about them, but also about relationships in general. In the media, romantic relationships are highly dramatized and exaggerated. Jewelry commercials, for example, relate every aspect of a romance to jewelry, for example, "every kiss begins with Kay" and that Tiffany blue, thus conveying the idea that the price of a jewelry piece indicates the amount of love. Another grave offender is the bridal industry, made famous by the show "Say Yes to the Dress," which convinces women that the cost, fit, and style of their gowns will decide the fate of their marriage. My parents will be celebrating their 19th anniversary this year, a fact ironic considering that my father proposed without a ring and they held their reception in a small, empty house. Understanding what is truly important, my parents have always valued practicality and have taught me to see beyond the artificiality disseminated by the media.

However, music has generally told a different tale. Although many popular and rap songs promote an image of superficial romance, there has been a growing trend in music as artists choose to explore the real ups and downs of love rather than produce superficial videos. One song, in particular, "You'll Never Walk Alone," challenges the modern media portrayals of love and relationships. Although it is an older song, it is performed regularly by top singers all across the world. Its lyrics are simple, yet its message is powerful. Just like my parents have committed themselves to supporting one another in times of difficulty, working together to care for my diabetic brother, ""You'll Never Walk Alone" advocates selfless dedication and glorifies the resiliency of love. Promising their lover that they will never be abandoned to face the "storm," "dark," "wind", or "rain," alone, the speaker of the piece demonstrates that a lasting and fulfilling relationship, like that of my parents, is not based on jewelry or dresses, but rather empathy, compassion, and unwavering companionship.

Some Say Love

In my relationships, I seek to experience various characteristics of love. I hope that, at first, passion will play a role in my relationships, a force or "fever" that, like in Rihanna's song "Stay," "will make me feel like I can't live without" my partner. Although I wish for relative degrees of passion and desire, a serious relationship requires a great deal more. In my opinion, I believe that true acceptance is a key element in a successful romance and, as Ingrid Michaelson sings in the heartwarming "Way I Am," I would expect my partner to overlook my flaws just like I would do his. In a similar way, I strongly feel that a committed relationship should be built on mutual understanding between those involved. As Dot consoles George and encourages him to pursue his dreams in the touching song "Move On," one of the most notable pieces in Stephen Sondheim's  Sunday in the Park with George, a couple must, looking deep within each other, comfort, support, and motivate the one another. Such understanding must also be matched by sincere loyalty. Although arguably a bit melodramatic, Gilda's sentiments--"my desire will fly to you on the wings of thought and my last breath will be yours, my beloved"-- expressed in "Caro Nome," one of opera's most famous arias, beautifully capture the importance of loyalty and the power of love. A result of all these different qualities and characteristics of love, however, the ultimate pursuit of a serious relationship, in my opinion, is unity. In my romantic relationships, I seek to experience a deep, unifying bond with my partner, so that we, like Tony and Maria in West Side Story, may "make of our hands, one hand; make of our hearts, one heart." By this reasoning, I do support the idea of true soul mates. Although I realize that we may not always find our soul mate, I believe that there are people who we are destined to be with.

Gender

1.     Although I have independently adopted more progressive views, I was raised with the more traditional concepts of femininity and gender roles. I was frequently told to cross my legs properly and to be “lady-like.” However, I was very close with my older brother and, although I adored my Barbie and Polly Pocket dolls, I also loved to spend hours playing Legos, K’Nex, and other traditional “boy” games. In spite of their concern for propriety, my parents have always encouraged me to pursue my dreams regardless of my gender. In contrast, my grandmother holds very conventional ideas of gender roles and often advocates and emphasizes more domestic pursuits. While I disagree with her views, I understand that she was raised during a very different time in a very different world. Vacuuming, washing, and cooking were seen as a woman’s ultimate domain as she fulfilled her duties to her husband and children. In fact, my great-grandfather was actually happy when my grandmother rejected the opportunity to attend college.

2.     My siblings and I have always been held to the same standards and expectations. Games or activities were never deemed off-limits because of gender. Although I enjoyed playing kitchen and dolls, I loved to play outside, run around, and climb trees. In a similar way, my brother, my sister, and I are each required to offer service and fulfill household responsibilities. Although I, unlike my brother, was spared the chore of mowing the lawn, this exemption, like every other, was due to a disparity of ages rather than gender traditions.

3.     My experience at an all-girls high school has powerfully impacted my understanding gender and has influenced the way in which I perceive myself and my potential. Surrounded entirely by girls, I have been able to express myself without inhibition or pressure. At the Mount, gender is actually not an issue, allowing every student to grow and learn freely. Although problems exist as they would in any learning environment, such tensions revolve around academic or social issues, not gender competition. I also believe one of the most influential aspects of the Mount is that most of the teachers are also women. A female faculty, in addition to an entirely female student body, allows for candid and open class discussions about relevant topics. As a young woman, I have been able to develop my personal identity supported by my peers and inspired by my teachers.

4.     In spite of my egalitarian views and feminist leanings, I admit that I do expect a certain degree of chivalry from a man. Society, culture, and tradition have instilled in me this desire for such chivalrous behavior such as holding the door or fixing the faucet. However, I do not believe that household chores should be designated by gender and I anticipate my partner to wash the dishes or vacuum. Although my parents portray more traditional gender roles, their situation is dictated more by events than stereotypes or views. While I do consider it more romantic for a man to perform more “chivalrous” acts of affection, I believe that my relationships will be characterized by mutual respect, openness, and kindness rather than archaic ideas regarding gender.

Miss-Representation

Female fashions naturally evolve in cycles of varying degrees of provocativeness. In fact, many of the most fashionable gowns of times past would seem quite risqué today. Throughout history, women have always flaunted their assets and utilized their sexuality to achieve their desires and advance. Though this objectification and sexualization of women is therefore not an entirely new dilemma, it is incredibly disturbing to see girls subjected to such sexual pressure at younger and younger ages. Billboards and magazines are covered with either waif-like or perfectly voluptuous models in provocative poses wearing little more than underwear, if even that. Girls, from the moment they are born, are bombarded with images of half-dressed women who appear to lack both brains and conscience. Shows like Toddlers in Tiaras only serve to promote this unhealthy obsession with the degrading emphasis on the superficiality of women and completely disgust me. If these are the only images that girls see, it can be completely devastating when their body does not look like what society has deemed to be the ideal. Consequently, there are record number of girls who are reporting eating disorders, depression, and activities of self-harm. Who does a girl look up to when her chest is too flat or her legs are too short?

Although women have made significant progress in the American work force and have assumed positions of great leadership and authority, we still face great challenge and adversity. We consistently earn less than men, with the average woman making only $0.81 for every dollar earned by a man in the same position. In addition, females are often passed over in favor of lesser-qualified men in regards to promotions and bonuses. Yet, in my opinion, the greatest threat to the advancement of women in the workplace is the pervasion of labels and stereotypes. While a man in power will be regarded as authoritative, a woman in the same position will often be called demanding or domineering. In a similar way, women in the workplace are often criticized for neglecting their “domestic duties” such as cleaning, cooking, and childrearing. My biggest complaint, however, is that women are judged so much more harshly than men on their physical appearance. The comments sections of YouTube videos of incredible female leaders such as Angela Merkel or Julia Gillard are littered with remarks about how ugly they are or how “un-beddable” they are, rather than actual criticisms about their political policies or actions. I too have personally encountered sexism within my own experiences at Mock Trial competitions, Model U.N. conferences, and intro-to-business events—activities that are traditionally male-dominated. Even if there are no direct comments made, the gender issue at these functions is always the “elephant in the room” and I feel like I have to work harder to prove my right to be there and excel.

Mount has served to empower me and encourage me to pursue my dreams in spite of adversity. From its motto to its mission statement, Mount teaches every one of us that we should not be ashamed of our femininity, but rather that we should embrace it. Throughout these past four years, I have come to realize my potential. Certain female teachers have also acted as important mentors to me and I greatly appreciate all the advice, guidance, and assistance they have given to me over the course of my time at Mount. Although I feel that Mount sometimes promotes gender stereotyping by upholding a “cookie-cutter” model of a young, successful woman, my experience in such a rich and inspiring environment has enabled me to gain self-assurance and self-confidence, and I know I will graduate prepared to not only face social adversity, but thrive in spite of it. 

My Mission Statement

I strive:

To beLieve in myself and my abilities;

To accept my limItations and celebrate my talents;

To neVer compromise integrity for success;

To challengE myself;

To always pursUe my passions;

To defeat the awkwardness, ignoraNce, and blindness within myself and my society;

To fIght for the arts;

To love teNderly and selflessly;

To cherisH the simple moments of life;

To always recognize God’s presence In my life;

To never Become too absorbed in the superficial;

To utilize my gifts for the benefIt of others;

To give honor and credit where honor and crediT are due;

To explore the world around mE;

To Dream;

To LIVE UNINHIBITED.

Identity

Throughout my life, many different factors have influenced me and shaped my identity. My siblings, in particular, have made a huge impact on who I am today. Being blessed with a brother 7 years my elder and a sister 8 years my younger, I have the privilege of enjoying all the benefits of the position of middle child. A childhood playmate, my brother would spend countless hours caring for me, entertaining me, and challenging me. Even as I have gotten older, my brother has always been there for me with quiet patience and tender willingness. In a similar way, my little sister has blessed me with so much joy, happiness, and laughter. From when she was a baby, my sister and I have been inseparable and we continue to share our hearts with one another. Although my siblings can sometimes frustrate me, I realize how important their constant love and support has been to me throughout my life.

Music, particularly opera, has also played a major role in shaping my identity and is an essential part of my current self. In spite of my musical experience, I am actually not a musician at the moment. However, music and the arts are my passion. Music enabled me to find my way when the path seemed dark, it gave me something unique and special to cherish. I love opera and, though many people my age may find this interest bizarre or “uncool,” classical music has allowed me to connect with fellow, young opera-fans across the country both online and in-person. Art both comforts me and encourages me to grow and develop myself as an individual. Unfortunately, modern society often does not place enough value on great artistic expression and so I hope to dedicate my life to the promotion of the arts and arts education.

Yet perhaps one of the most influences on my sense of self and personal identity has been my experience as a Mount student. Coming from a tiny school where I had struggled and failed to secure any social standing, I was extremely excited to come to Mount. However, while I expected to expand my academic perspicacity, I had no idea of the emotional, social, and spiritual impact that my Mount education would have on me. Throughout the years, I have had the privilege to meet and befriend so many wonderful students and teachers. In discussing matters of life, be they my social plans for the weekend or the significance of Macbeth’s soliloquy, I have explored new facets of myself and the world around me. Though I understand that my personal journey is still only in its infancy, I, armed with so many wonderful friendships and memories, feel prepared to continue down the road of life.